Awareness & Addiction
A chapter of the forthcoming book, “Awareness and Appearance”
©2007-2010 Michael Monterey
“Enlightened beings accept reality and the world as it is. Unenlightened beings are at war with the way the world is.” – H.H. the 14th Dalai Lama
“The only thing that can counteract the infinite human capacity for self-deception is our infinite capacity for awareness.” – Carlos Castaneda
“One who knows that heaven and hell exist only in the heart is called a Buddha. One who does not know that is called deluded.” – Nichiren Daishonin
Introduction
Try this little mental experiment:
If you became totally addicted to believing that religified psychedelic egohood and drug induced euphoria are Buddhahood and Heaven, then how would you ever get out of that addiction and into either Buddhahood or Heaven on Earth?
Deep insight into the use and misuse of “mind medicines” offers powerful realizations of the nature of awareness and the way out of addiction.
Everything concerning addiction to mind medicines relates to elements of all other addictions. Because of our typically overwhelming tendency to habitual obsession and devotion, misuse of mind medicines – psychedelics, hallucinogens, entheogens, herbal sacraments, intoxicants and synthetic psychotropics – can be the most seductive and persistent of all addictions. Addiction to mood altering substances often reinforces and amplifies our other delusional complexes and relational addictions, complicating the complexities and intricacies of society and the mind.
More than 40 years ago, the most experienced psychedelic explorer in modern history, Timothy Leary, warned that using psychedelics as a spiritual path is the most difficult way of all. The potential pitfalls, seductions, subversions, setbacks and sidetracks are numerous and serious.
If addiction were not such an ancient plague, the modern era could be called the Age of Addiction. To one degree or another, everyone is born into the Culture of Addiction.
Before you were born, before you were conceived in this life, what you are was as endlessly perfect as the beginningless, infinite, source of all that was, is or ever will be.
Just being conceived, born and raised in the world tends to turn human beings into Energy Junkies, Power Junkies, Attention Addicts, Control Freaks, Pleasure Junkies, Misery Junkies or normally adaptive cowards, addicted to cycles of fake happiness and suffering, sometimes from before birth. The combination of natural instincts and social programming is so powerful that most people never begin to redo it, but it can be undone and redone. The mind-body’s biocomputer can be reprogrammed.
You are a miraculous gift and so is Mother Earth. Your human birth on this amazing planet was a miraculous event, your life is a sacred treasure. Each moment of presence is a precious opportunity for any one with a whole brain to realize the living Truth of absolute freedom and fulfillment. Then the ultimate miracle cure is possible, spontaneous remission of psychic AIDS (the delusional ego trip).
Perfect freedom sustains perfect responsiveness, faith, confidence and compassion. Perfect fulfillment sustains perfect gratitude, love and devotion.
What is addiction? Addiction is anti-grace, anti-gratitude, anti-awareness, anti-presence, anti-compassion, anti-love and anti-freedom. Addiction, habitual negativity, diversion and distraction require the negation, subversion and perversion of all the positive, life enhancing aspects and modes of consciousness.
Grace and devotion are unitive, expansive, creative and constructive. Addiction is divisive, constrictive, negative and destructive.
Of all humanity’s illnesses, addiction is the closest to a team sport. The old saying is so true, ‘misery loves company’ because socially programmed humans are creatures of habit. Deluded ego’s selves are like psychic birds, flocking together to reinforce our sense of normality, reality.
As children, we develop the habit of identifying misery with our way of living, as an elemental part of normal existence, interweaving itself into every aspect of our lives. We tend to experience some degree of suffering and dissatisfaction as chronic, low grade distress, deficiency or deprivation. To some extent, we learn to live with them, ignore them, stuff them or accept them and take them for granted, like background noise or the feel of the road in a moving vehicle. The world and the cruel ordeals of childhood and adolescence tend to crystallize our rationalization of the typical traumas, bizaare adaptations and corrupting compromises we suffer on the way to normal adulthood. We get by with a little help from our friends, our families or whatever behavioral crutches we find most helpful or enjoyable. For most of us, our family, friends, pseudo-tribes and the socially acceptable intoxicants provide enough mild mood elevation, sedation and/or anesthesia to keep us from falling into severe dysfunction.
Still, a little dysfunction is dysfunctional, and many tiny pains are painful. Suffering is suffering, no matter how we mask it, numb it or cloak it with a perverse obsession. Sustainable recovery requires reversion to Original Grace.
For many addicts trapped in atrocious patterns of negativity, destruction, pain and suffering, Alcoholics Anonymous or other 12 Step programs are wonderful resources. All of them have the same common strengths and weaknesses. AA and NA rarely, if ever, lead to ultimate liberation and the supreme bliss of complete spiritual fulfillment, enlightenment. For addicts unwilling to abandon The World and all the supports for normally limited consciousness, the 12 Steps are often the only alternative to horrific damage and self-destruction.
For the rest of us, many alternatives allow radical recovery, fostering the return to Original Grace, full presence, pure awareness, sustainable freedom and supreme bliss in this lifetime.
Since psychedelic states of consciousness can seem virtually eternal, I sincerely want to confirm, affirm and celebrate all positive realizations, insights, intuitions, inspirations, aspirations, intentions, decisions and actions. We each have positive karmas in our flow, and all are worth fostering, appreciating, honoring, cultivating and protecting. Ecstatic, mystical or visionary experiences do tend to have positive value and effects. I honor and respect them, whatever the cause or source may seem to be, as much as I respect Truths that come from beyond my personal experience and knowledge. I also value mental health and self-honesty as highly as serene bliss and supreme compassion.
So, here is my Universal Disclaimer:
Like Tim Leary, Aldous Huxley and many other modern pioneers of inner space, my use of mind medicines helped me enjoy more ecstatic bliss, consciousness, heaven and hell than most people experience in many lifetimes. Still, that did not prevent occasionally imperfect and/or misleading statements and mistakes nor sincere apologies. For example, when a thing is said one way, other meanings are usually left unsaid and may seem unappreciated. In that case, that is not the case. While some conflicting interpretations may be unavoidable, this is not intended to condemn, demean, contradict or oppose other perceptions, interpretations and opinions. This chapter is not food of the gods nor Holy Revelation. It may be food for thought, for fostering helpful introspection, insight and understanding.
The many amazing effects and results of personal experience with mind medicines were ultimately positive and eventually transformative, yet mixed. The benefits were results of my own aspirations, intentions, decisions, actions and efforts, not of any substances. The side-tracks, drawbacks, setbacks, damages, severe pain and suffering, however, were due largely to effects of the substances on an unprepared mind, stuffed with the bad ideas, popular misconceptions, urban legends, some superstitious nonsense, negativities, anxieties and natural vulnerabilities of an incompletely cultivated life in an insane world game, a world of egos at war with nature and spirit.
This is also a retrospective, prescriptive survey of contra-indications, not so subtle long-term side-effects, and potentially devastating consequences of inappropriate self-medication with psychedelics and entheogens, hallucinogenic and/or psychotropic mind medicines. Since traditional mind medicines and some modern psychedelics are used for curing addiction, the focus here is not mainly the psychotic casualties of the Psychedelic Revolution, nor the various subcults of the drug culture. The main issue is the more subtle, yet potentially persistent, self-limiting results. Favorite medicines too often become favorite habits, vices reinforced by the powerful seductions and subversions of the Culture of Addiction (AKA Normal Society, or one of its more exotic subgroups).
Some of you probably contracted and recoiled already, thinking, “Whew, this guy’s view must be too limited. He is ignoring the ancient tribal traditions, the sacred use of natural mind medicines. I sincerely respect, revere and honor those Holy sacraments, very highly.”
Please, bear with me. Yes, the indigenous cultures’ traditional sacraments, used with their shamans’ guidance, for healing and sacred inspiration are worthy of reverent respect. Use of ancient sacraments by people immersed in an industrial, materialist-mechanist social matrix is a totally different thing. The ancient tribal knowledge, cultural wisdom and spiritual guidance of a highly experienced, native guide may as well exist in a parallel universe or on a different planet.
Triage
It is very hard, if not impossible, to find a fully qualified shamanic guide who will commit to the long-term training of a modern urbanite for initiation into the tribal Medicine Way. For one thing, highly experienced shamans see their own limitations as well as alien patterns of neurotic social conditioning. The legion of chronic ego demons typical of mechanist Consumer Culture may be far beyond the scope of a tribal shaman’s knowledge and skills. In remote rain forests, an urbanite may enoy a highly cathartic, transformative trip to the inner jungle and beyond, to the fringe of ancient heavens and hells, but never reach the consciousness and healing experienced by members of ancient tribal cultures. Being born and raised in one makes it possible to absorb much if not all of the vast knowledge, deep wisdom and responsive relational patterns of an ancient tribal spiritual culture. There is no substitute.
Kidding ourselves about that, or using it as a bogus excuse for favorite self-deceptions and recreations, only cripples us, keeping us stuck in illusions, delusions and unfortunate habits, causing more suffering, not less.
All humans tend to be more or less plagued with deceptions perpetrated by self and others, blind spots, chronic denial, selective inattention, selective memory, attachments, preferences, a love of or obsession with pleasure, insatiable cravings, unconscious taboos, aversions, unliberated, endarkening negativity, fear, doubt, suspicion and resistance to healthy change. To the extent of our infection with all that, it corrupts us, harming us and our loved ones, destroying our lives, ruining our environment, our planetary life support system, and degrading the quality of our children’s future.
Self-liberation by self-managed self-medication, self-directed deprogramming, reprogramming and disinfection of one’s own human biocomputer are difficult, usually very scary. Because of our incredibly strong tendency to prefer bliss, ecstatsy, elation, euphoria and pleasure over the relatively painful alternatives, including health, sanity, boredom and mediocracy, at best, being our own exorcist (biocomputer technician) is typically less than totally successful. We all have more than a little damaged karmic baggage, limiting, befogging and distorting self-perception, decreasing our capacity for self-honesty. We also have many negative incentives weighing against taking time off to thoroughly investigate the mind and how to completely, correctly analyze its socially programmed operating system, to discover each and every psychic virus and disinfect it completely.
As Leary saw so clearly, attempting self-illumination via self-medication with psychotropics is difficult because of the intrinsic puzzle of civilized existence and consciousness. Seemingly innocently, in a corrupt system, we slide into positive feedback loops. It becomes ever harder to see through the invisible walls we build with the world — our co-conspirators — family members, friends, teachers and associates.
The pioneers of family therapy and addiction recovery treatment all agree that the majority of normal families are addictive-dysfunctional systems, functioning like emotional blackmail rings. Normally dysfunctional families specialize in cleverly disguised, yet ruthless manipulation for the sake of deception, control, illusions of power and security. Some are seemingly worse than others, but the pattern pervades modern industrial society and its global Consumer Culture.
The core issue — recognized by all the great Sages, Gurus, Prophets, Buddhas and Christ — is actually innocence and integrity versus corruption and narcissistic perversion.
Scanning & Disinfecting the Human Bio-Computer
The modern Buddhist Sage, Ken Wilbur, calls the modern, aggressively Narcissistic self-obsession, Boomeritis. Elevated to the level of an institutionalized, culturally enforced, commercially sponsored norm, Boomeritis is turbocharged by addiction to anything and everything, especially consumption, entertainment and other forms of delusion, distraction, denial and deliberate ignorance.
We all want pleasure and happiness, but who wants to abandon the seductive causes of suffering? When we no longer recognize them, they are worse than invisible. They seem to offer easy solutions and quick fixes for ego’s nightmare. They seem to make us feel good and give us a sense of belonging to a special group of users or relatives.
This seems a very hard, cold, cruel world without belonging to a supportive group, a special family, a clan, a pseudo-tribe of like-minded kindred spirits. Anyone who ever tried knows that changing tribes or groups never feels perfectly easy or painless, no matter how badly we want out. Most of us have such powerful, subconscious defensive mechanisms that we never get to see the need for radical change. That makes us feel trapped, stuck, ever more unfree. Inevitably, we want to escape. Yet, usually, we find more powerful ways to distract and deceive ourselves. That sometimes seems to require mind medicines, ancient shamanic entheogens, natural sacraments, intoxicants or anesthetics.
Buddha says that everything we do, no matter how absurd or atrocious, is really because we want to be happy and free. Osho says that nothing is more precious or important than Freedom. Crazy Wisdom master Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche said that the only real freedom is mental freedom. The rest is just delusion and/or confusion. Real freedom is complete not partial, actual not delusional.
There is no spiritual liberation beyond or apart from mental freedom. Our mentality is an inseparable aspect of our being, essential, central, basic to what we are. Without mental freedom and clarity, we have no way to discern the reality and value of our experience, of anything, God or whatever.
Now, call a spade a spade and stay compassionate. No pill or herbal sacrament will ever erase a lifetime of habit devoted to negativity, emotional slavery, bondage or endarkenement. No quick fix exists for instantly getting a subverted ego over its own unsatisfying addiction to normality, especially not a ‘spiritualized’ materialism, a seemingly divine egohood or a heavenly normality.
The pioneering psychotherpist, Dr. Carl Jung, noticed that “enlightenment makes the darkness visible.”
That makes awakening a very unpopular option. Before Jung, Gautama Buddha noticed that normally socialized egos are passionately obsessed with ignorance, now associated with “denial” and other mental malfunctions. Constant commitment to denial, is a commitment to conflict, hostility, and constant hostility is a prescription for chronic endarkenment, dissatisfaction, misery, insanity, disease and war.
To be free we need to be sane. To be sane we need to be realistic, happy and effective. Otherwise, we are wasting the present moment on a depressing, counter-productive, unwinnable war against spirit, nature and the world.
What are the odds in a war between a lone ego and the World? Betting on the World is a safe bet.
While being interdependent functions and products of each other, the World was always in the business of subverting, perverting, subsuming, then consuming egoic selves. Yet, however atrocious, the World is really not crazy, it is hungry, but it is not life, not nature. According to the masters of Awareness, the World is an illusory production of mass-hypnosis and mass-hallucination by, for, and of the normal ego that insists on indulging in self-deception at all costs, no matter what.
As Meister Eckhart Tolle points out, the worldly ego’s sole agenda is exploiting people and situations, dividing and conquering. War is the ultimate stratagem enforcing ego’s delusional story, its drama of a separate existence in a real world. Pain, suffering and the illusory finality of death makes it globally convincing.
The normally socialized ego and ‘The World’ are both objects of
thought. The world, things, and people are not what they seem, and yet they are. Whatever appears to exist out there is impossible to separate from what we think it is in here, in the the matrix of consciousness.
Paradoxically, from Buddha’s ultimate view, the World and ‘others’ are manifestations of Wisdom and Karma (infinite energy, awareness and causal interaction). In other words, instead of seeming to be good and bad or pure and impure objects and entities or figments of socially programmed consciousness, our selves and others can be seen as modes of expression, everchanging forms of infinite presence, divinity, awareness, energy, light and space. Worldly value judgments and reactions are optional and illusory.
Essentially, life is relational. The community of life, the web of universal relationship is the context and source of sentient being. A “self” is nothing more or less than an interactive function of all its mental phenomena, its definitions, beliefs, opinions, karmas and relationships, expressing the creative potentials of universal being within limits. Apart from all the relations giving shape and meaning to this life, my self would be an impossibly meaningless word. Since my life is not separate from the totality of all life, my self as something other than a functional result of infinite relatedness is impossible. My apparent individuality is an expression of totality, like a wave is an intrinsic function of the ocean and the sky. The appearance of individuality depends on perception and socially conditioned interpretation, the realities of information, wisdom and awareness do not.
Like the Law of Attraction, Karma (the law of interdependent interaction, action-reaction or stimulus-response) is an unbreakable universal law. It is a self-evident, natural fact, like energy, reliably recognizable, beyond believing. Cause and effect are essential to everything, everything we think, feel, see, use and do. You can refuse to believe in it, but will that ever change universal reality or the nature of karma?
Truth may seem painful, but karma is not the problem. Good actions of body, speech and mind always produce good results, sooner or later.
We live in a ravaged environment, driven to the brink of disaster by mass insanity, corruption and perversion. Despite anyone’s favorite illusions, opinions, preferences and prejudices, their sohisticated superstitions, moral relativism and ethical dualism will never negate or delete natural realities. Negative opinions and emotional reactions will never undo the biochemical excretions and results they generate.
Saddled with more or less excrutiating pain, suffering and anxiety or terror, how can we attain and sustain the unconditional love and compassionate wisdom required for a full cure?
The Cure
How does all this relate to mind medicine, psychotropic intoxicants and sacramental entheogens?
The word “psychedelic” means mind manifesting, accurately describing the basic value of such medicines. What we can see with psychedelic aid is the nature, ways and means of our own mind, mentality conditioned by our socially programmed limitations and expectations.
Responsible psychedelic guides and shamans always warn against expecting or wanting more from a psychedelic experience than our own psychic capacity and preparation permits. During temporary, chemically altered states of consciousness, we expand only to the limits of our current appetite for exotic experience, then we “come down” into the same little self that drove us to want a way out, an alternative.
We may loosen the reins for awhile, temporarily dissolving the inner walls and locked doors, briefly expanding our consciousness somewhat, but not totally. Ego’s false self then reverts to its habitual karma and control, shrinking us back down to ‘normal’ again. Ego then carries on, with a more exotic yet unliberated self, with exotic new stories, creating more exotic yet unsatisfactory results. There are exceptions, and some are what we can call the casualties of the Psychedelic Revolution, the walking wounded, lost in space or hell.
The effects and results of self-medication with mind medicine are determined by the quality or deficiency of our own mentality, our self-cultivation, our karmic momentum and, in some cases, our addiction to denial.
Ego’s sense of a real and separate self is a self-deception, depending on ignorant confusion, selective inattention, deliberate ignorance, denial of reality. Seen in the clear light of true freedom, normal selfhood and the World are figments of insanity.
A high meditation master of Tibetan Buddhist lineage, in a moment of rare candor, told an interviewer that the greatest value of mind medicine is the realization of emptiness. The meaning of “emptiness” in Buddhism is the interdependent origination of co-emergent wisdoms. In other words, mind medicine can help us see the interactive creativity of perception and appearance, awareness and presence. So, what you see is what you get, and so on. Echoing the little known warnings of Tim Leary, the Lama said that the danger of self-directed self-medication with mind medicine is that “it is very hard to know when enough is enough.”
What we do with mind medicine without a highly effective, experienced guide is an attempt on the part of a dissatisfied ego’s false self to escape its own self-generated, self-perpetuating habits of suffering and delusion, self-deception.
Our worst Catch 22 — damned if we do and damned if we don’t — is our ignorant blindness to our inability to be our own doctor while busy being our own worst enemy.
When what we really want is a whole life makeover, the last person in the world we should trust with our only brain is our self. Since ego’s self is what got us into the unsatisfactory state we want to escape, how in the world do we ever believe that it will get us out of it?
Ego’s false self construct, has no power or capacity either for liberating us, and no interest in telling us when enough is enough. Self wants to keep its Big Dream going.
Worldly self is a walking, talking bundle of lies, fears and habits, that’s all.
Before getting hooked on the unsatisfactory suffering of mistaken identity syndrome and all the activities perpetuating self’s drama, we were shocked into bewildered spiritual amnesia. Before that, more or less briefly, we enjoyed the original Way of Awareness. Without dropping back into original Awareness, failing to realize how to disidentify with the mind of ego’s fake self-world construct, how can the undisciplined ingestion of substances help us find a sustainable way out? Not very likely, not any time soon, anyway.
Respecting and considering the wisdom of the ancients is usually useful. Shenpa is a Tibetan word for hookedness, the worldly self’s basic condition. Look, if the ego’s false self really wanted a way out of its self-imposed hell, then it would seek a direct path back to Original Grace, child-like innocence, bliss and natural harmony. Right?
The worldy self never does that or does it so rarely that those lucky individuals are looked upon as great saints or Buddhas who come along once every 500 years or so. The obvious truth is that ego’s false self habit has no interest in anything but self-perpetuation. Its mission is the exploitation of people and situations for the sake of its one obsessive compulsion, illusory existence.
Ego gets so hooked on self’s imaginary existence, normality, it is not to be trusted with a real life.
Ego’s complex dilemma is so tightly interwoven into the mental-social fabric of human existence, it warrants diligent observation, investigation and constant vigilance. We can and should uncover every excuse, each layer of illusion, in order to release them.
For better perspective, the following paragraphs expose the realities and challenges from other angles.
Socialized egos depend on drama, resistance, judgment, comparison, conflict and consequences, reward and punishment, gain and pain, status and negative competition, money, war and so on. Without winning and losing and score how could a worldly self evaluate, justify or even recognize its illusory existence, among others? Expectation, frustration, anger, conflict, pain, suffering, destruction and blame shifting give the ego’s false identity a compelling sense of substantial reality. Why else would countless generations be addicted to such negativity and violent conflict?
Who or what is there to get frustrated or angry about? My fear, pain, suffering, mistakes, confusion, my favorite illusions and unrealistic expectations are mine, not yours. The same is true of you. Yet, for many of us, it becomes second nature to deny or ignore that, forfeiting constant peace, contentment, fulfillment, freedom and compassion.
Now, if I were a great heart surgeon, would I want to operate on myself? Does a great brain surgeon trust himself to operate on his own brain? Would a psychotherapist with signs and symptoms of serious depression or neurosis, reject the help of another expert counselor? Well, not while retaining enough sanity for sustaining the best chance of relief and recovery.
We really have only one simple choice: In the only moment there is, we can either regain and sustain the integrity of free awareness and pure presence in harmony, or indulge in illusory perception, dualistic belief, divisive opinion, disharmony and civilized insanity. The healthy decision includes the cure and finding the best help available.
Mind medicine may help us see the illusory limitations of normative mental programming but, without expert help, cultural support, and a major personal effort, it will not help us build a new lifetime of positive habits. No dose of material medicine can restore you to your original, endlessly pure perfection. To really be what you already are takes a radical and total change of mentality, attitude, purpose, lifestyle and sometimes a new career, family, friends and society.
Sustaining Recovery
An old Zen saying tells us that Zen mind is beginner’s mind. Thich Nhat Hahn, the great Vietnamese Zen master, says that the Kingdom is now or never.
My experience, perceptions and memories are my own creations, either the Way of Heaven or the way of waste, Hell. We each have our own unique pattern of causes, results, relations and potentials, but the Truth is that we have NO TIME TO WASTE on any thing. That’s double true of a delusional self.
Only three fictions exist outside the harmony of the infinite moment, a story about the past or about the future or about what we think other people think. Personal reality is a flow of thoughts happening one by one in the singular moment of presence.
Habit keeps us stuck in delusional stories, trapped, running between hope and fear, the way of the world, not the way out of it. Stubborn insistence on being right about our stories about illusion, insisting on our Rights to miserable karmas and results will never accomplish anything other than more insanity, disharmony, destruction and suffering. Adding psychedelics, exotic experiences and visions to our story without dropping self’s agenda will never change the nature of the story nor the nature of the consequences.
A false self’s story about a need to free the mind with a magical medicine—to escape from a world of illusion by using a substance from and of that same world—is a very tricky and addictive illusion. Like chasing flower petals or bubbles drifting on the breeze in a dream, that never liberated anyone from normal endarkenment.
Another difficulty of the psychedelic path, as with antibiotics and bacterial infections, taking mind medicine without completing the cure gives an ego’s self greater immunity to remedies. With herbal remedies, psychedelics and drugs, taking more, more frequently, leads to greater psychic resistance, ever less effectiveness.
Since ego’s false self is illusory, we have no one to blame, but deluded ego’s habitual blame shifting increases subliminal paranoia and panic, its constant, gnawing distress and unfortunate results. Overwhelmed by the results of its errors and binges, its obsessive-compulsive attempts at gaining control, maintaining control, then losing control, inevitably trying to regain a sense of normality, the addicted ego demonstrates its incompetence and existential absurdity. And, it wants to do it over and over and over and over again…
Worldly ego’s stubborn resistance to honest acceptance of reality, as is, means desperate clinging to habitual fictions and negativity. Severely dysfunctional programming tricks us into subverting and perverting our best tendencies, turning our best qualities against us. Short of suicide, the ultimate downside is addiction to substances or processes or relational routines. Addiction is the perversion of devotion, turning it into negativity. Negativity never causes anything but negative results. With luck though, we eventually find misery intolerably unsatisfactory.
As the Dalai Lama reminds us, we all want to be happy and free, content and free to explore our potentials. Fulfillment is desireless, no more craving and suffering. Pursuit of desirable external objects gratifies the socialized ego with temporary pleasure. That devolves into unsatisfactory neutral and unhappy states and worrying about losing desirable objects and experiences. Constantly trying to avoid undesirable objects and experiences leads leads to exhaustion, discouragement, numbness and chronic unhappiness. Trying to fake or redefine happiness and freedom can only lead to disappointment and worse. New rounds of deficiency, craving, distress and suffering, only generate the craving for the ever more elusive opposites, pleasure and gratification.
We learn to suppress and repress awareness of the unhappiness and anxiety caused by endless rounds of inherently unfulfilling pursuits, but ego’s self secretly knows that there is no out there nor in here nor things that cause real joy and fulfillment. Self never fully believes its own story.
Worldly happiness is fake happiness. It always changes, turning into neutral and unpleasant experiences. Worldly freedom is fake freedom. Routine, habit, addiction, bondage, slavery and defensive-reactive mechanisms are neither free nor conscious nor alive.
The only way to sustain fulfillment and real freedom is through being fully awake and alive to the moment of creation, the Way of Liberation and Enlightenment, sustaining unconditional awareness, pure presence and unbiased compassion. Tibet’s great Vajraguru Padmasambhava called it creative expression. We can call it Creative Spirituality or Atiyana, the original Way of being. That means being free enough not to limit the infinite creativity of the universe in the present moment. True happiness and real freedom leave no time for ego’s stories about an extinct past, a fictional future, other peoples’ fictional thoughts or deluded reactions to such stories.
Chemically induced ecstasy, wonderful stories, powerful practices, great doctrines and exotic rites seem like they might free us from our dream world, but they are somewhat like ornaments, at best.
Ornaments may be beautiful and very nice, but it might be nicer if we could drop the way of the world, the stories and dramas, negative obsessions, reactions, excess injury and suffering, and then sustain pure bliss and harmony. Yet, nature and society program us to survive and stay addicted to the way of the world. With a certain amount of deprogramming, retraining and on-going discipline, learning, unlearning and guidance we have a chance to blossom and thrive. Otherwise, programming and the momentum of habit bring us down, again and again and…
Mind medicines offer some real benefit but, if anyone ever gave you the impression that learning and a strong commitment to self-discipline are unnecessary to the direct path of real freedom and contentment, don’t believe it.
Buddha once said, “Conquering oneself is a greater victory than defeating thousands in battle.”
Until we master ego, we cannot sustain harmony, freedom, bliss, and limitless compassion, and we still need learning and discipline. No plant or psychedelic mind medicine or anything else can do the ‘quick fix’ trick for us. There is no super pill to cure an addiction to illusion, self-deception, self-frustration, and suffering that happened to a fictional self. Until we establish ourselves with a firm footing, grounded in a transcendent conceptual framework, a new paradigm of liberation and enlightenment, we are lost.
The only way out of ego’s invisible prison of delusional mental habits is through replacing the negative habits of slavery and endarkenment with positive habits that generate true freedom and compassionate wisdom. The only way to real freedom and lasting fulfillment is through realization and appropriate response in each moment of pure presence. That requires the infinitely open awareness and karma of enlightenment. That takes the full use of our unlimited faculties and divine qualities, liberated through effective meditation, contemplation and, usually, some form of yoga, spiritual practice or regular devotional service. We need to generate new neural networks in the brain, new biochemistry and response, a new way of living that supports authentic being, presence and awareness.
Osho was right about the work of meditation. When it works, we unlearn our identification with the mind of worldly ego. The flame of Awareness becomes a radiant sun, burning up the slavery created by worldly mind. Keeping the inner sun shining strong, burning steadily growing is enlightenment.
Enlightenment is “seeing the light” of truth and compassionate wisdom, free of the tyranny of endarkenment, the negative habits, emotions, obsessions, beliefs and delusions of normative enslavement.
According to Seng Tsan, the 3rd Patriarch of Zen, “For those not obsessed with preference, comparing, judging, picking and choosing, the Way is neither difficult nor easy.”
When we dive into our true Dharma—the Way to ultimate freedom and Original Grace—with the intense enthusiasm and commitment of a great new love, then success, enlightenment, is easy. We start from where we are though. Unfortunately, worldly ego’s basic addiction requires obsessive comparison, dualism, division and difficult complications that distract our attention and limit our enthusiasm.
Without the help of an experienced guide, the power of pain, fear and habit make it far from easy to escape the World’s invisible Box. Otherwise, the world would already be enjoying a Golden Age of Heaven on Earth.
Now, if you only enjoyed wonderful trips and pleasant or amusing experiences with mind altering drugs and sacraments, you might think that you made it out of The Box. You may wonder if this really has any personal value for you at all.
Sustaining Immunity
Psychedelics and botanical sacraments can provide some of life’s most amazingly enjoyable, memorable, meaningful and healing experiences. Still, though some of us naturally tend to have only wonderful experiences under the influence of psychotropic substances, that in itself can be one of the most dangerous of all possible pitfalls.
How could having wonderful mind manifesting experiences be a problem? You are not your mind, nor your mental habits, nor your thoughts or your visions, fantasies or dreams. Mental functions are part of your being, not the whole. Your thoughts and other mental phenomena express your identity, but what you are is far more than mentality. Your totality is far more than the conditional mentality, memories and beliefs dreamed up by you and your world. When you identify yourself as your mind — your mental productions reactions, perceptions, interpretations, projections, thoughts, ideas, beliefs, your psychological phenomena — however nice it seems, you accept your current level of self-imposed limitation, preventing evolution beyond what you now believe possible.
For example, if you believe in a delusion that you live in Heaven on Earth then, as long as you believe it, it will be impossible to get to Heaven. Who would even begin to think of leaving Heaven?
Another, way to look at it is by remembering that you take medicines when you are sick and, when you recover your health, you quit taking them. I started taking mind medicines because I suffered many unsatisfactory, disturbing, painful symptoms of existence as a worldly self, fallen far from Original Grace. I then started believing in an improved self that seemed to need to keep taking the medicine to stay happy and well. Then what happened? Well, that self did not recover Original Grace nor freedom from suffering.
As long as we believe that we need the help of medicines and external substances to be basically happy, free or well, then we are not really well and we will not generate sustainable health and happiness or the causes. That will never help us fully recover the original way of being what we really are, which is what everyone wants, which is far beyond the power of any material medicine. The world’s inherent tendency to suppress, subvert, pervert, combat, corrupt and exploit our positive qualities, tendencies, activities and relations, reinforces ego’s worst causes of suffering, making mind medicines ineffective for a sustainable cure.
Luckily, pure Presence is more than adequate to keeping us basically happy and well. To enjoy lasting contentment, the basic bliss of being, we only need to foster, cultivate, nurture and protect the cause and the results. Caring about and for our own karma, our relations, our interactions and results is important not only for ego’s self, but for all our loved ones, all living beings and all future generations. The quality of each human life affects the quality of all other lives and conditions, in many ways, far beyond our ability to know the total outcome. In fact, the total outcome is as infinite as the evolution of the universe, because it is inseparable from the creation of universal presence. Not being aware of most of that does not make it unreal or make your contribution to the quality of life unimportant. Nor does it mean that you will be able to ignore the truth after the moment called death.
Some mind medicines or the way they are used can be very harmful, not to everyone all the time, but to some, at least, at some times. Often, the use overuse or abuse of mind medicines is very harmful not only to oneself, but to the loved ones, to friends, our communities and our whole culture. Inappropriate use of mind medicine is usually part of a pattern of self-abuse and/or self-neglect that leads to or aggravates many other patterns of destructive negligence including ecocidal mania. Since most of us are creatures of habit, learning by imitation and repetition, it is wise to consider the possible Big Picture consequences.
When the ego’s false self and the world lose control over the body and mind, our mental and physical processes, then the momentum of our karmic energy takes over.
Energy is neither created nor destroyed, it just is. That is as true of mental-emotional energy as it is of any other form of energy. Each of our actions of body, speech and mind impact the whole field of universal energy, like pebbles thrown into an infinite pond. We are not separate from the field of energy we call the universe of things and beings. Mind medicine can help us get a direct experience or glimpse of this infinite, living ocean of energy, but enough is enough. Too much is too much, not only for one self, and not only for one lifetime.
Allegedly, the Apostle Paul once said that, in the Kingdom of Heaven all activities are permissable, but not all are expedient. In other words, with compassion for ourselves and others, we can make decisions for the best possible results, for one and all.
Some mind medicines are more powerful or dangerous than others, some are illegal, and that often causes severe consequences that ruin lives and families for generations.
Since the subject is so subject to potentially dangerous misinterpretation, wild flights of fantasy, misconception and misinterpretation, very few Tibetan Lamas will discuss mind medicines, and then only rarely. The mind medicine that they recommend most highly is appropriate spiritual practice and a true spiritual friend, an enlightened teacher or coach. Native shamans recommend living a sacred life in harmony with nature, spirit and the tribe. That way is sacred to the tribe. The best modern counselors and psychotherapists use a blend of ancient and modern strategies and techniques for fostering the same basic ways, means and results. If your life is unsatisfactory and you want the alternative, then what you really want and need is relief and restoration, not temporary substitutes.
Remember, since you are it, you deserve the real thing and the best help available for returning to it.
Sustaining Presence & Awareness
The lack or loss of pure presence causes loss or supression of joy, faith, love, peace and harmony, degrading our quality of life, our relationships, our behavior, communication, perceptions, thoughts and attitudes, trapping us in seemingly endless cycles of abusive patterns, reinforced by the Culture of Addiction. As long as the addict is actively committed, the 12 Step programs succeed by counteracting the influences and rituals of the addictive lifestyle. No 12 Step program deals with all the addictions or the root causes of the Culture of Addiction. Some former attendees dropped out because they realized that AA and NA work as a substitute addiction, enabling addictive personalities to get by with weekly meetings, cigarettes, coffee and sugar. For some addicts, AA and NA support relationship addictions by default, undermining full psychic integrity, total self-honesty, self-reliance and the confidence required for healthy interdependence and transcendent relatedness.
There are numerous stories of curing addiction with primitive shamanic use of African Iboga and case histories of successful clinical use of synthetic ibogaine by clients of gifted therapists. In both settings, the root causes of addiction are cut, recognised and released. Yet, without an expensive trip to Africa or to an offshore ibogaine clinic, you can do the same without ingesting herbal or chemical mind medicines.
Essentially, the root problem is the Double Delusion, being confused about illusion. We then compound it with lots of ineffctive, inappropriate beliefs, decisions, behaviors and delusional, toxic relationships.
Only the ancient art and science of supreme being allows us to rehabilitate deluded ego’s mistaken identity, by retraining the brain, permitting a whole life makeover. For some, that may look like going native, full time. It might look like becoming a disciple of an enlightened guru, doing advanced yoga and meditation, or long-term Buddhist practice, or becoming a monk or a nun. Some imagine it as losing identity, purpose, meaning, family, friends and a reason to live.
For some, during the early phases, it may take regular sessions with a gifted counselor or therapist, with or without mind medicines.
Two of Sahaja’s favorite modes are variations on the Tantric Buddhist practices known as Chöd and Tonglen.
Chöd is a ritual offering of the practitioner’s body, visualizing a feast to appease demons, devils, vampires, hell beings and hungry ghosts who would otherwise afflict sentient beings. Doing it many times, with great realism, helps us overcome stinginess, attachment to bodies, fear of death, and so on. Milarepa Rinpoche said that we should do Chöd constantly for a long time, while doing whatever else. For the ultimate benefit, we can visualize all the negative beings being so satisfied and happy that they spontaneously turn into enlightened beings, guardians, angels, guides, yogis and yoginis, who become our loyal helpers and informants.
Tonglen, sending and receiving, is a ritual visualization for breathing in all the bad karma, stupidity, negativity, pain and suffering in all worlds, receiving and transmuting it in the Heart Chakra. Then one sends out supreme compassion and all other divine qualities as white light, entering the heart’s of all sentient beings, establishing them in the ultimate bliss of perfect enlightenment. Now, you can visualize any negative or stupid event, action, word or thought as a dark heap or ball, beginning to smolder and shrink, all the evil and toxic insanity going up in black smoke. As we breathe the black smoke into a blazing sun in our heart center, the negative qualities are turned into golden healing energy that fills the whole body, then shines on out to the whole universe, healing all beings of those burned up evils.
Such practices may seem too fantastic to have any practical effect or real benefit, but if they are practiced with great desire and intensity, repeatedly, then that changes the brain and your life. Gradually, you will start encountering less negativity and start enacting enlightened activity, embodying perfect grace and compassionate wisdom ever more naturally and more constantly. Remember, to the brain, a vivid dream or intensely realistic fantasy is as real as any normal experience.
The only way you overcome the bad habit of deluded ego’s “MY way” is replacing it with the good habit of living The Way, The Truth, and The Life.
Whichever course is best for you, ultimate healing and liberation come of restoring your faith, trust and confidence in nature, in your own nature and in your own potentials and capabilities. If you keep finding yourself in situations showing you that you need expert help, then go find the best expert, commit yourself to enthusiastic cooperation and the best outcome. Once you make that commitment, you can then follow through, sustainably, to the ultimate result.
On the way to the result, your life will change. You will drop your belief in your old story about what you thought was your life, your world and everybody else you thought was in it. You will realize that it was not what it seemed and start discovering, exploring, appreciating and enjoying what it is, as is. You will rise in love with it, stop fighting it, hating it, fearing it, judging it, and start healing it. In fact, you start healing the world as soon as you see ego’s false identity for what it is and quit being a slave of The World, the Culture of Addiction. You are then free to shower everything and everyone with loving devotion, serene bliss, limitless compassion and, as needed, crazy wisdom.
I wish you ultimate success, health, serenity, and bliss, because you deserve them. I also wish you all the causes of ultimate happiness and freedom, which are all within you in the miracle of presence and nowhere else. I pray that you appreciate and enjoy this miracle of infinite creation as fully as possible, with your own pure, unaltered awareness, intelligence, senses and body. I wish that you never separate from the cause of serene bliss, remaining totally separated from excess pain, deluded suffering and the causes of suffering. I wish the best of all possible lives for you. I wish that these wishes generate supreme compassion, freedom, happiness and greater quality of life for all beings. I am also grateful for the awareness that these loving wishes, intentions and feelings are accomplishing the intended results.
May you seek and receive any help you need for returning to your original perfection and sustaining it, infinitely, from now on.
Sahaja Bazrakara